What first pulled you toward building this?
What got me to build IRL was living through a problem that I see so many others facing: we don't have a platform to nurture the relationships in our lives that matter.
Life is really about three things:
1. Health
2. Wealth
3. Relationships
Harvard’s longest study on adult development, which has tracked adults for 85 years, found that the number one factor supporting a long, healthy, and happy life is not actually diet or exercise. It is the quality of the relationships in your life. We invest heavily in wealth through our careers, success, skills, and education. We invest in our health in many different ways. But when we look at relationships, how do we actually invest in them? We don't have a platform to track or nurture them. While there are plenty of sales CRM platforms out there, those are built for professional use, wealth, and business. We don't have anything for ourselves to nurture the personal relationships that truly matter.
Furthermore, we lack an effective way to: (a) Expand our networks meaningfully (b) Connect with people who are truly aligned with who we are and who we are becomingI built IRL to solve this because I have lived this problem myself, and I know that everyone else does too. We are social creatures and relationships are extremely important, yet we have no system to help us manage them effectively. Instead, new social media platforms launch all the time, which only scatters our contacts and makes the situation worse. We are more distracted and lonelier than ever. Singleness has hit an all-time high, and loneliness has apparently become the new pandemic.
These are real problems that need to be solved, and that is why I built IRL.
If someone spent a week inside my world, what would they understand?
I guess what they would understand or realize is how much thought I put into understanding the problems we are solving at a deep level. I am trained as a systems thinker. When I think about problems, I look at them from a systemic point of view because they have to be solved from different angles and different moving pieces.I am tackling the problem of human relationships and thinking about the different elements that need to be put in place for someone to up-level their skills in terms of building those connections. What tools do they actually need? How do we use technology and AI to simplify their life rather than adding more work?
People don't need more work; we need to get less busy. We need to use technology for our own benefit so we can get out there and build real, sustainable, authentic, and genuine relationships.
What kind of relationships form around what you’ve created?
It is incredible to see the kind of relationships forming around what I have created. The app hasn't even launched yet, but I have already built so many connections through the process of building this startup.
Because my obsession and thesis regarding high-quality, genuine relationships resonates so strongly, I tend to attract people who believe in the same things:
1. People who obsess about relationships.
2. People who track their friendships.
3. People who want to be part of this mission and help solve this problem because it is so needed in the world.
I am really grateful to have met these allies and to have the support of the right people. These individuals are community leaders and super-connectors who believe deeply in building exceptional relationships and investing in living well.
They will become the first batch of users for IRL. I believe the initial group of users is vital for any business because they go on to find more people like themselves. For an app like this, it is especially important to have high-quality users in the beginning. They will help shape the direction of the functionalities, the user flow, and the overall culture.
Every app has its own culture, and that culture is built by its users. Even though we haven't launched, so many great relationships have already formed.
What are you unwilling to compromise on, even if it would make things grow faster?
I am definitely not willing to compromise on building an app that is not 100% safe. I am also not willing to compromise on trust, which includes psychological safety on the app and trust between users. Furthermore, it is about the trust between the customer and us as the IRL brand and business.
As this grows, I want to protect the integrity of the app. Safety and trust are vital factors, but the core values of what IRL stands for also include:
1. Authenticity
2. Kindness
3. Respect
4. Trustworthiness
5. Reliability
6. Consistency and follow-through
We want to protect these core values and ensure that every decision we make in the business is aligned with them. This should be reflected in how the app is designed, the culture we build, and how users treat one another both on the platform and in their real-life relationships. Ultimately, IRL is about helping people enrich their lives with better relationships and become better human beings by being better at relationships.
What inspires you outside your own field?
I would say entrepreneurs solving problems, even in areas that I don't really understand.
When I see people relentlessly working so hard and doing things that are just unimaginable—where you wouldn't even think that the solution was possible—it's incredible. They are just so persistent and have so much tenacity in doing whatever they can to solve a problem through the business they are building. That just very much inspires me.
If you had to describe your work as a gift, who is it for?
It is for people who want to enrich their lives with better relationships that are more aligned with who they are and who they have become. It is for those who want to build better connections, expand their inner circle, and nurture all the different categories of relationships in their lives, whether that involves their inner circle, best friends, family, colleagues, or acquaintances.
On average, it is said that we can manage between 150 to 250 relationships in life. However, if we look at the relationships we actually nurture on a daily basis, we aren't doing a great job. I don't know anyone who is close to effectively nurturing that many people, and I don't think we can do it without a system. That is the problem IRL is here to solve.
To answer the question regarding my vision of a world worth wanting:
1. A Rich Life
My vision is for people to live a truly rich life. To me, that means a life defined by health, freedom, and deep connections.
(a) Healthy Living: People should have a healthy lifestyle and the means to do what they want in life.
(b) Wealth and Freedom: Having the freedom to be happy with what they are doing on a daily basis.
2. Aligned Relationships
The most important thing is having great people around you who are aligned with your values, where you can support each other and grow together.I would say that is a world worth wanting and a life worth living.
